I have an amazing little sister and I love her so very, very much.
And because of that… this:
This is a guided tour of my little sister’s underwear that moves from conservative granny panties on the left up to butt floss-style thongs on the right. She came home one day to this.
I’m not sure if my favorite part was the anticipation of Abby walking up the stairs and finding the underwear or the moment I heard her scream… knowing what it was about.
And this was how it always was and probably always will be. I tease. A lot. But for me to tease, I’ve got to be comfortable. And for me to be comfortable, I’ve got to love. So in a round about way, I’m a jerk… because I love.
It’s funny, really, how crazy much I love my sister these days. Because it’s a far cry from when she first came in to this world. I still remember the day she was born. I was so mad that the stupid baby was making my mom stay in the hospital when she should have been home with me. I was angry with her before I even saw her, despite the big sister classes with baby dolls and all of that. My 3-year-old self could barely stand it.
And then she came home, and things went steadily downhill from there. Not because there was anything wrong with my baby sister (except for the biting… there was a lot of biting…), but because I was no longer the center of the universe and I didn’t like that feeling.
So, in my desperation, I developed a series of mysterious medical maladies that our rather astute pediatrician eventually diagnosed as Abby-itis. (Blast! Foiled again!)
And so it went, for many years. I must have been some sort of torturer in a past life, because I delighted in tormenting my little sister… and eventually my brother when he came along. Evil was my middle name and I wasn’t even allowed to laugh in the car since it usually indicated I’d done something awful. (Rachel Ann! Stop it, whatever you’re doing!)
But, despite all of that, my sister and I grew into inseparable friends and it is my mission in life to make sure that if I ever have a baby girl, I’ll never stop having babies until she has a sister. Because truly, there’s nothing better.
Nothing better for me, anyway. Ask Abby, owner of all that underwear taped to the wall, and you may get a different story 😉
I suppose as long as I’ve got that picture I should really tell you about what you don’t see…
In addition to being a grade A jerk face as a child, I also tormented my younger sister by being exceptionally territorial. And our room was always split in half one way or the other.
Did you notice the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling? Right. Those were only on my half. And I refused to share. Refused!
However, I did throw Ab a little bit of a bone. My rule was this: if a star fell from the ceiling and she got to it first, she could have it. We had bunk beds in our room and Abby was on the top. So on that rare occasion that a star fell, she’d come scurrying down the ladder and head for the star– Smeagol-style. (My preeeeeccccious…..)
And the evidence is still there on the ceiling in my parents’ house to this day. It always makes me laugh… an evil, evil laugh. Because I still love very, very much!
6 thoughts on “A jerk! Because I love…”
That’s hilarious! Good thing your siblings are tough, to handle all that tort– er, teasing you dealt out. I always wanted a sister, but I got stuck with a brother instead. He’s okay, I guess. Now. 🙂
Yep, tough as… taffy 🙂 My poor little sister, love her to pieces!
What a perfect sweet post to read as I’m drinking coffee to stay awake to pick up my sis from the airport at 1 am!!! I am giddy with excitement! See we even love our sisters the same 😉 (although I’ve never made underwear displays…hmmm….)
Aren’t sisters the BEST?! I hope you have a blast with yours– I’m always missing mine!
It can’t be easy being father to a wacko like me, but I’m oh so glad that you are!