Tag Archives: speak up

The Ugly Meet-ling

I had to go to a meeting today.  It was a long meeting.  And it was an ugly meeting.

I already knew a lot of the people who were there individually.  I like a lot of those people individually.

But collectively?


I had hoped for respectful dialogue and constructive criticism.  But it was more like this:

Angry Meeting


Angry.  Angry.  Angry.

(That’s me in the pink, by the way… everyone in our office wore pink today to support breast cancer awareness and it was our pink challenge day, so I was SUPER pink.  Pink dress, pink tights, pink nails, pink jewelry, pink scarf (hand-dyed by my aNut!), and even pink bobby pins!  So yes, I really did stand out pretty much just like that… except that I wasn’t the only one with hair.  I just didn’t feel like drawing it on everyone else.)

There was nit-picking, items were mocked.  Mocked!  I wanted to shrink out of the room.

But shrinking wasn’t an option.  (If it were, I wouldn’t still be wearing a size 11 shoe.)  So I had to make a choice: keep silent, implying tacit agreement with the tone in the room, or sit at the table, lean in, and speak my mind.

I spoke my mind.  And by speaking my mind, I did NOT make any new friends.  But I couldn’t stand what I was hearing.

So I shared a little bit of love.

Angry Meeting Solution

I’d love to tell you that I won over the room.  That I lulled the angry masses into a calm and respectful group.  That sitting at the table and leaning in worked.

But it didn’t.  I was readily dismissed.  And I suppose sometimes it’s like that.  You can’t win them all, no matter how hard you try.  But at least my conscience is clear and I can rest well tonight knowing that I went to bat for what I thought was right.

Worth it.

My dad has a lovely little term for just such situations.  This is precisely what he calls an AFGO: Another eFfing Growth Opportunity.  Genius.  I recommend adding the word AFGO to your vocabulary, effective immediately.  I think you’ll find that life is full of opportunities to use it, and AFGOs really don’t seem quite so bad when you think of them that way.  After all, personal growth is a good thing.

Except when you have to buy new pants 😉


PS: I really wanted to use The Ugly Duckling as the title somehow, but I just couldn’t work ducks (or swans) in… so I had to settle for “meet-ling.”  Dang.  Better luck next title!

See Something, Say Something

See Something Say Something

The Department of Homeland Security has a public service campaign it calls “If You See Something, Say Something” for the purposes of raising public awareness about indicators of terrorism and terrorism-related crime.  Makes sense to me– we can’t always assume that someone else is going to see the same thing we saw.  And if they do, we can’t assume that they’re going to do something about it.

But I think this idea can apply to a lot more than anti-terrorism measures, and I propose the following:

something nice

Seriously, does anything feel better than a heart-felt compliment?  An expression of gratitude?  So why not tell someone when you like their dress, think they did a good job speaking in a meeting, got something done faster than you expected, looked really beautiful or happy or glamorous or clever in a photo on Facebook?  What’s the harm in saying something nice?

I’m not suggesting that we all walk around with a false “you look lovely today” on our lips, but I know that nice thoughts pop into my mind all the live-long day and it seems silly to waste such happy thoughts on my brain, marinating in its juices all alone in my thick skull all the time.  Why not share the thought and take a chance on making someone’s day just a bit better?

When I first started toying with the idea of starting a blog, I really wanted to make it a positive place.  In fact, my original working title was “This is a Positive Blog.”  Of course, that was before the whole tapestry idea came about and I’m glad it did, because I like that much better.  Regardless, this is a positive blog.  And I want to be a positive force in the lives that I touch.  There’s enough negativity out there to go around.

So what do you say?  Will you join me in my crusade for kindness?  My goal of goodness?  (My attempts at alliteration???)  It’s as easy as saying out loud the thought that’s already in your head.  Piece of cake!  Piece of delicious cake…