Monthly Archives: December 2013

The Spirits of Christmas (Tree) Past, Present, and Future

Awesome Things, , , , , , , ,

First order of business: I made waffles for dinner tonight. Breakfast for dinner makes me ridiculously happy. Waffles anytime!

But we can talk more about waffles another time.

I realize that I’ve been belaboring my pup’s recent surgery and you’re probably tired of hearing about it… I only bring it up now because I want you to remember that Seth and I are basically confined to the house with her until she is healed up enough to have her stitches out. Too much risk of her moving around and popping something important if we’re not keeping a watchful eye on her. (Thank goodness Seth works from home– it has made this whole ordeal much, much easier than it would have been otherwise! I am grateful every day for his excellent job! And his boss is kind of cool, too…)

So because we were home bound with Curly this weekend my exceptionally generous sister-in-law, Sister Doctor, and her husband (on his birthday, no less!) went and picked out a Christmas tree for us! How awesome is that?!  They delivered a beautiful fresh cut Fraser Fir from Seth’s uncle’s tree farm on Sunday afternoon and Seth and I spent the evening setting it up and decorating as Curly looked on from her kennel.

Setting up that Christmas tree reminded me of so many things about Christmas past and made me think ahead to the many, many Christmas’s Seth, Curly, and I have in our collective future. And it was interesting to think about all of the holiday traditions Seth and I celebrated with our own families growing up and how we’ve merged those things into something completely unique for our own bitty nuclear family.

When I was little, we always had a beautiful gold and silver star with a bright white bulb at its center topping the tree and the first year Seth and I got a Christmas tree together I was certain that I wanted to find our own perfect star. But Seth’s family always topped their tree with an angel, and that’s what he preferred. I remember my mind being absolutely boggled at the thought of having an angel atop the tree– I’ve never liked the look of overly realistic angels. I mean… a star!! Personal preference, I suppose, but I was stuck. Until I found this angel:

Angel Topper

A plain, bright bulb for a head and a simple design. Much like the star I enjoyed growing up, while providing Seth with the angel he always wanted atop his tree. Perfect compromise. Isn’t it lovely???

Same with the lights. Seth’s family always had tiny ones, we always had big round bulbs. What to do, what to do? Compromise once again! We got some mid-size LEDs, just bigger than the minis Seth was used to and the same shape and colors as the bulbs I’ve always loved.

Together with the Christmas tree stand handmade by Seth’s grandpa (it’s a hand-welded sleigh!!), the tree skirt latch hooked by Seth’s mom (lovely little holly berries!), the mounds and mounds of tinsel inspired by my dad (seriously… LOVE tinsel!!), and the multitude of ornaments handpicked by Seth and I on special vacations and gifted to us throughout the years (new house, engagement, wedding, honeymoon in Hawaii (Mele Kalikimaka!), Seth learns to surf, Rachel learns to wakeboard…) we have our very own perfect tree.

Tree Details

I see it as a subtle reminder of our Christmases past, a beautiful symbol of this Christmas present, and a harbinger of Christmases yet to come… each one sparkling, pine-scented, and joy-filled.

Lit Tree

Celebrating my fat heart!

Things I Learned on TV, , , , , ,

Have you guys seen the movie Pitch Perfect?!  I’ve seen lots of pins on Pinterest with quotes and “The Cup Song” has come up several times on my Pandora (love it!), but I never actually watched the movie until just this morning.

You see, I’m pretty much confined to within 10 feet or so of my sweet puppy girl’s kennel unless she falls asleep (like really asleep) or she whimpers and whines, so I resigned to spending the morning watching movies on the couch, including several made-for-tv Christmas movies (so much cheesiness! so very good!) and Pitch Perfect.

Pitch Perfect was awesome for a lot of reasons, but I recently got into Rebel Wilson in the show Super Fun Night and I’m extra in love with her now that I’ve seen her as Fat Amy. Seriously, she calls herself Fat Amy so “twig b*****es like you don’t do it behind my back.” And she had so many other gems! But my favorite was at the end of the movie when she says to her friends:

Even though some of you are pretty thin, you all have fat hearts – and that’s what matters.

That line– I LOVE IT!  I rewound and rewound to hear it over and over and over again because it made me laugh so hard!  But it also touched me– right in my big fat heart! I love the way Fat Amy embraced it, she loved her life, she worked her killer bod, and she showed us that “fat” is not a dirty word. (Despite the nearly constant fat shaming we get exposed to in the media.) Just brilliant!

Have I mentioned before that weight is a pretty big issue for me? Oh right, I titled an entire post “Mind. Body. Prison.” and a search for “weight” pulls up 5 separate posts, which is a lot considering that I’ve only actually published a grand total of 64. (But dang, let’s reflect on that number for a minute– 64?!  Awesome! We should totally plan a party for 100!)

So, yeah, I’ve mentioned that weight is a big deal to me. For most of my life I have desired very strongly to lose it, and when I did, I desired to lose more. I’ve recently shifted my focus, though, and am really working toward body acceptance, no matter it’s size, instead. No matter my weight loss goals, my biggest desire was always to be comfortable in my own skin. Is there any reason that can’t happen in my current skin? No.

I am a healthy, happy person and that’s what my friends and family care about. They love me for my fat heart! And so do I, I suppose!

People come in all shapes and sizes, colors and creeds.  You may have bushy hair, big feet, an extraordinarily square jaw (just some examples… ahem…), but it really is what’s inside that counts. That is what your friends and family love you for and it’s the same reason you should love yourself.

And you should love yourself, friend. (You can trust me, I’m a doctor.)

 

PS: I’m really loving some of these normal-sized women that are starting to show up more and more often on tv and in the movies! I will forever support The Mindy Project, Mike & Molly, Super Fun Night, and Parks and Rec for that reason. (I watch too much tv!)

SANTAAAAA!! (or not… but Christmas, anyway)

Awesome Things, , , , , , , ,

I like Thanksgiving– the food is great, seeing family is fun, and there’s always much to be thankful for.  But I’m one of those people who really loves Thanksgiving only because of what it means for the future.  To me, Thanksgiving simply means:

***********************CHRISTMAS IS COMING***********************

And Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year– FAVORITE!

The jingling! The jangling! The sparkling! The magic!!

A lot of people argue about the meaning of Christmas, whether it’s been overly commercialized, and how we spend too much time celebrating it.  I am not one of those people.  I don’t really care about any of that.

Because for me, during the Christmas season, my heart just SWELLS (end-of-the-movie-Grinch-style) and fills to the max, beating extra hard with joy as I see the beauty, the cheer, the peace, the comfort, the charity and generosity*, the grace, the family, the LOVE, and all the other beautiful and good things that the holidays bring.  That they epitomize, really.  And while I can’t comment as an expert on the holidays of the other major religions, I strongly suspect this to be the case surrounding Hanukkah and Kwanzaa as well. (Am I right?  Anyone?)

I absolutely adore putting up the tree, the scent of fresh pine filling my house as I hang up our ornaments, each one representing a beautiful memory.  I love that we get to go to Seth’s uncle’s tree farm to pick the tree out– grown and cared for by family for years.  I love the advent season, the spirit of expectation and of hope, peace, joy, and love as we light another candle each week.  (And I super love that my mother- and father-in-law just gave me a beautiful advent wreath as an early Christmas gift!! It’s gorgeous!!)  I love stringing the Christmas lights up on the house and remembering how year after year my dad and I struggled with new and more creative(ly dangerous) ways to get the lights all the way to the tippy top of our once-upon-a-time-Charlie-Brown-Christmas-tree that traveled with us all the way from Skandia to be planted in front of our house.  And I even love remembering the sound of the vacuum bulbs exploding when they hit the concrete because our latest and greatest plan didn’t quite pan out as expected. POP!

I love the scents (the cinnamon, the vanilla, the pine, the fresh cold snow), I love the sounds (the happy music and tinkling bells), I love the chill in the air (or the frigid snap of snot-freezing cold, as the case may be), and I love the giving and the receiving, the sharing of so much– gifts, food, love, time, whatever it is that we get to share this time of year.

Sometimes the hustle and bustle of reality threatens to overtake all the other good feelings I love to cultivate this time of year, but it’s completely in my power to prevent that and this year has felt nothing but good, despite the hardship.

My sweet puppy had to have a repeat knee surgery and she’s laid up for four full weeks, through Christmas. Nothing but kennel or potty with a leash and a sling. Seth and I are limited in how much we can be away from the house. But my sister-in-law agreed to pick me out a tree, and when I’m in the kitchen baking I know my husband is snuggling my pup and when I’m done it will be my turn. She is loved and she knows it and we’re making it work. Our house may be a bit messier, but it still smells like Christmas… and a little bit of poop. Did you know anesthesia can cause some severe diarrhea in dogs? Because it can. And it did. But don’t worry, mostly it just smells like Christmas now. (Thank goodness for the good people at Lysol, Clorox, and LG!!)

Our travel plans had to change on account of the surgery, but my sister and mom assured me that all that matters is getting to spend time together, not the day, and encouraged me and Seth to save vacation for a longer trip next year. So instead of a week long trip with our pup in tow, I’ll be making a quick jaunt over to celebrate Christmas the weekend before at my Grandma and Grandpa’s house. And even if I couldn’t, I guarantee you that every one of them would understand why. (But good news– I totally can!)

No matter the circumstances, the sights, sounds, smells, and most importantly, feelings of Christmas are everywhere this time of year– and, as I learned from The Muppet Christmas Carol, I should both honor Christmas and try to keep it all the year!

(Watching The Muppet Christmas Carol is my family’s Christmas Eve tradition.  We all packed together on the couch year after year, packing in another significant other or two as time went on, and watched that amazing movie– singing along with Kermit as Bob Cratchit and Miss Piggy as his wife, of course. My in-laws totally humor me by watching it now– that’s love! And that’s Christmas!!)

 

*Interested in learning more about generosity this holiday season? Check out my friend Chris Lema’s brilliant 30-day series on the subject. (Yes, I’m name dropping by qualifying that last sentence with “my friend,” but it’s true and I’m proud to get to say it.  I know him in real life, y’all!)  It’s a thing of beauty from the true master of generosity himself (trust me on this one, I have been the recipient of his generosity in so many ways it’s unbelievable).

 

When snowflakes fall…

Seriously, , , , ,

A rough couple of days around these parts.  My sweet puppy girl had surgery on her knee again today (her first knee surgery was back in October) and we’re in for another 4 weeks of recovery.  She’s a very high energy, snow loving puppy… so keeping her calm for four more weeks with snow on the ground is going to be a huge challenge.  And my heart breaks for the pain I know she’s going to have to endure all over again. I just feel so bummed out for her.

Snowy Pup

But while I was out shoveling four fresh inches of snow off our driveway, Frank Sinatra’s I Wish You Love kept running through my head:

I wish you shelter from the storm, a cozy fire to keep you warm,

But, most of all, when snowflakes fall, I wish you love.

My Curly girl is going to be bummed about all the snow and her inability to run, frolic, and burrow in it like she loves to do, but she will have all the love in the world, that’s for sure! Hopefully some snuggling, a sedative or two (this time around, we’re getting smart about this!), and a couple weeks of R&R will have Curly all fixed up.  And I suppose we can take her out for a snowy little snack every once in a while– the world is Curly’s snow cone!

Snowflakes

Honestly Kind

Recurring Themes, , , ,

I’ve been reading a lot lately… actually, let me rephrase that.  I’m reading a lot always and as I’ve mentioned before, sometimes themes just jump out at me.  Over and over and over again.  And when that happens, I have only once choice and that is to talk about it here, because they’ll never leave me alone until I do.

You may be asking yourself right now, is this a symptom of schizophrenia?  And I need to assure you that no, it is not.  I dabble in mental illness, of course, but schizophrenia is simply not my thing.  Therefore, the voices must be real…

The theme as of late has been honesty.  Truth.  Realness, actuality.  And I firmly believe that good people are attracted to truth like a moth to a flame.  And if this blog has taught me anything, it’s that every single time I make the hard choice to share a tough, personal truth, good people come a runnin’.  Every time.

Whether it’s ugly hair or an ongoing battle with depression— good people. Every. Single. Time.

But the more I thought about it, the more I thought about how this desire for truth and honesty isn’t necessarily universal. Because as much as I value honesty, I value kindness even more.  And I don’t think the two things are mutually exclusive. White lies told in the pursuit of kindness are a-o-k in my book (i.e. feel free to lie to spare my feelings, I’ll never hold it against you, and might even like you more for it).

There are definitely some people who pride themselves on their willingness to tell others the cold hard truth– unsolicited honesty to a fault.  But that’s really not the type of truth-telling I’m talking about here.  What I have recently come to find so much more important is not so much telling truths about others, because regardless of what I perceive about someone, I still can’t know everything, but rather, sharing the truth about myself.  As my fortune cookie said last week (I’m telling you– this theme has been everywhere!), “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting their battle too,” and the only battle you can really know for sure is the battle you are fighting yourself.

Fortune Cookie

To me, kindness in the context of honesty means sharing truths about yourself rather than your perception of others. (Think your friend’s husband is a total weirdo? Recognize how much she loves him and be happy that they’re happy! Think your own husband is a total weirdo? Use it for blog material! (kidding… love you, Sethy!) Don’t like your friend’s new hair cut? Maybe try complimenting her gorgeous smile instead! Don’t like your hair cut? Make jokes about it on the internet!) Easier said than done though, right? I struggle every day and every blog post (because it’s so much easier to rant about others than to examine hard truths about my self!), but I definitely feel the best when I  an make those two things work together.

Honesty. Kindness. Boom bam, baby!