The hair.

You’ve probably noticed that over the past few weeks, I have made several references to my hair.  Perhaps it’s an unhealthy obsession, but what I want you to know is that my hair really is a BIG deal.  Big.  And it has a mind of it’s own.

I’m feeling kind of guilty for the downer-ness and severe lack of funny that was my post yesterday, so to make up for it,  I decided to share with you the photo I alluded to a few days ago when I said:

“Everything through the end of high school was essentially precambrian… early, unformed, and frizzy.  I wasn’t really sure how to have curly hair yet and many pictures exist to remind me of that.  (Many… frizzy… photos…  Want to see one?  Too bad!  It’s far too awful and I’m not that secure.)”

I’m still not that secure, but this hair– it’s too much, and I’m so relieved to finally be able to find it funny.  Here’s hoping you will find it funny too, because I owe you that!

So, without further ado, I present to you The Hair:

Mushroom Hair

This is my school photo from picture day in sixth grade.  To complete the look– that’s a BODY SUIT (complete with crotch snaps) under that crocheted vest.  Let me say that again: crocheted vest.  And I’m wearing green jeans.  Green.  Jeans.  Oh yeah.  Picture.  Day.

This was just the beginning of a really, really bad hair period in my life.  I still remember getting the cut in fifth grade.  I had a pool party at school the next day (because of course) and a boy in my class (who shall remain nameless, but I do remember his name, and this is the only reason…) said, loudly, for all the laughs in the class, “I wonder what it looks like wet?!”  Ahhhh ha ha ha.  Hilarious.  The answer: not so hot.  But then again, didn’t exactly look stellar dry now, did it?

You may be thinking right now something like, “well, it’s not that bad…”  because you’re a nice person and you don’t want me to feel bad.  But stop.  Because this:

Hair Compare

Oh man.  My future children are going to have a field day with this– I’m glad I’ll be laughing with them!

 

I know it’s hard to believe that a foxy lady like me, all square jaw and size 11 feet, used to look like that.  But believe it.  It’s true.  And my hair still has some of those special qualities.  For example, the more upset or nervous I get, the bigger my hair becomes.  Maybe it’s because my head gets hot?  I don’t know… but much like the mushroom cloud expanding over time, so is the hair on my head.  (You can read that like the Days of Our Lives slogan– like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.)

Cue violin music!

10 thoughts on “The hair.

  1. GAAHHHH! I love this and feel like it’s my own special gift since I asked for it 🙂 I love that you shared this and while I love your sense of humor I appreciate the debate you may have been (were) having with your psyche about posting it and I think it proves my point- bringing those things of “darkness” into the light takes away their power! You may just start posting random pics all the time now. Maybe I’ll join you- bc have you SEEN my post with “the hair??”. Yikes! I love your heart Rachel 🙂

    1. OMG, Dawn– I’m so glad you recognized that this was totally because of your request! I thought it might be creepy to say it in the post, but it’s true. Ask and you shall receive!!

      And I DO feel better having shared it!! Thanks, Dawn <3

  2. Well, speaking as someone without hair…what’s the problem?!!!?!!!!?!!!! I love you so very much and always thought you were and are beautiful!

  3. Loved this little tale, Rachel. But the most interesting thing to me is that the photo of “little girl Rachel” reminds me so much of your beautiful mother! I’d never thought of you as looking like Beth, but in that photo you surely do. Randy (R.’s dad), what did you do to deserve all this beauty!!

    1. Hi Margaret!!! Thanks so much for reading along– I’m so happy to see your comment. And you’re so sweet! My mom is beautiful, isn’t she? Abby, Tom, and I are all a really good mix of both our parents, actually 🙂

  4. Um. I know it probably doesn’t help, but my Mom has paid good money to get her hair to look like that. 🙂

    Look at it this way–you have a stand-out feature that people will remember and associate with you. You’re the girl with the hair! Me? I’m that chick with glasses–you know, like every other person on the planet? 😉

    1. Your comment totally made me laugh– I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard some variation of the “paid good money for that” line! I love it! Except when I was 10, the idea of women paying money to give their hair that kind of “body” seemed oh so ridiculous! But the grass is always greener on the other side, isn’t it? People with straight flat hair would kill for curl and body and people with an abundance of curl and body would give anything to be sleek!

  5. Oh friend! I was very excited to read this post because I can def commiserate. I had that haircut as well, prob in 4th or 5th grade, and that is always my example for what not to do when I go to a new hairdresser. I also had a navy blue body suit with lace trim around the neckline, so fancy! I was soo upset when my mom bleached it by accident, but maybe it was for the best 🙂 You are my curly hair guru and have taught me so much, I would probably still be straightening my hair if I hadn’t met you.

    1. Oh Christine!! You are so sweet! And I LOVE your hair– love it, love it, love it! When I saw you suffering through the daily burden of straightening, I just couldn’t allow it to go on. So much work! But it is so much fun to be able to do both, isn’t it?

      And your body suit sounds awesome.com! Once upon a time, I wondered how Victoria’s Secret models always looked so sleek with their button down, collared shirts tucked in… until I realized they were body suits, complete with crotch snaps, and I remembered that no amount of sleekness is worth that!!!

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